I just had a birthday. I’ve been making music professionally for around four decades. I’ve played on the recordings of many other songwriters and artists, but the album I’m about to release will be only my third.

What took me so long?

I always loved songs and early on had the desire to write my own. At the start I displayed no special songwriting talent. My fledgling efforts were not distinguished, and the musicians with whom I worked at the time let me know it (although arguably they could’ve been more supportive, they were right).

Additionally, my band had other songwriters around my age with strong writing talents that were already evident. I felt I couldn’t compete with them. I became discouraged.

I continued my songwriting, but in a desultory manner. I’d write for a while, think I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I’d stop. I repeated that cycle for years.

The more often I stopped, the more I felt it was too late to get serious about songwriting, or to have any success. I thought it was too late at age 25, age 30, age 35… etc. It was always too late.

However… I could never completely give it up. I always came back to writing songs.

As I plodded on (and off), my songwriting did gradually improve, but hitting the restart button over and over is no way to build up momentum. And the momentum one gets from consistency is crucial to excellence at anything (and in having a career).

Somehow at a certain point I understood that it was unlikely I would stop. Along with other changes that were happening outside and inside of me, I finally got it that my fear of writing would probably always be with me… and that there was no guarantee of any success…but that my desire to write would likely still be there no matter what.

I stopped fighting it. I understood all the practical reasons for not writing, including my always advancing age, but I also knew that if I didn’t write, those unwritten songs inside would continue to eat away at me. I realized I had to do it… and that I was finally willing to do it.

I started writing regularly. As best I could, I reserved specific times of the week that I committed to songwriting. The songs started to pile up at a steadier rate. And, not unrelated to the fact that I was more committed to the craft, some of the songs began to sound like something. I began thinking about performing them; something I had only done irregularly in the past.

There was a club I’d been playing with another band and I thought they’d give me a gig. I knew some great musicians who said Yes when I asked them to play that gig with me.

From experience I knew I had to play regularly for the band to add up to anything. I couldn’t and didn’t pay the musicians much and, after the first gig, I realized I couldn’t even afford that. I had to ask them to take a pay cut (after one gig!) if we were going to keep the thing going.

Miraculously, they all agreed. I had a band. After we played gigs for a while, my girlfriend at the time basically blackmailed me into recording (bless her). This became my first album.

This led to my second album and, almost now, my third. But I’ve found that though my commitment to writing regularly is solid, my commitment to recording the songs I’ve written is not so solid. In fact, it’s similar to my previous stop-and-start commitment to writing.

But it’s finally sinking in that if I don’t record more I’m not doing justice to the time and care I’ve put into my songs. My 3rd album will be out soon and I’ve increased and accelerated my recording and mixing time overall.

We’ll see how it goes. But I’ve learned it’s never too late… until it really is. The fact that I think it is… that’s usually just my brain talking shit to me.

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